Relationships: From Judgment to Understanding
Humans have a biological tendency to judge others as friend or foe as a survival mechanism. Because of this, we often rush to judgment and labeling of others without getting to know the real, complete person that’s within every one of us. We all have our own struggles, insecurities, talents and unique personalities. We’ve had different life experiences that taught us widely varying ways of dealing with life’s challenges.
So, the more we can look closer and see what might be behind the sometimes annoying or difficult actions of others, see what kind of pain lies behind their anger, sarcasm and judgment, the easier it is to relate to them with loving kindness.
People who give negativity to those around them are feeling that way inside. They’re not totally happy-go-lucky folks who send out verbal barbs or tirades as a fun hobby.
I’ve noticed that my ego tends to create unhappiness around feeling misunderstood and unseen as I really am inside. The first step toward being known and understood ourselves is to give that caring, kindness and attention to another. If we seek first to understand, we’ll be more likely to experience deeper, more positive relationships with a truer connection. Labeling and judging only separates us. We can improve our relationships by giving to others what we’d like to bring into our own lives.
Here are affirmations that may be helpful reminders:
Today I set my intention to be more understanding and compassionate to the people in my life.
I send out loving kindness and peace to everyone around me.